I’m back, this time with lots of pictures and a more positive update. Five months in, the changes are subtle, but there if you look closely. There are times when I walk past a mirror and think my face has changed, and other times where I don’t see anything different. It’s almost like a mirage that I’m not sure I’m even seeing. Then again, I see myself everyday, so people who haven’t seen me in a while might notice more of a difference. My hair growing like a weed is also helping, and I’m slowing getting better at managing long hair.
As I said last time, my nipples have been swollen and sore. They are so sensitive that a sudden hug or a box being thrown against my chest hurts like hell. I still lack anything I’d call breasts, and am far from even an A cup. Although, I think the skin on my chest is gradually becoming flabbier.
People say that emotions change when you take hormones, which is a very difficult thing to judge. It’s not like I didn’t have any emotions prior to starting hormones. What might be the most noticeable is that I don’t repress emotions as much, like how men do. For example, when I see something that’s cute, I don’t try to play it cool and not let it effect me, which is the normal guy reaction. Another thing that might be observed from an emotional aspect is that before my mood was quite level. I didn’t get super depressed or super excited about things as it was fairly level. Now I have more peaks and valleys with emotions, which is good and bad.
Overall, I’ve been far more positive for the last month, especially compared to where I was in the last update. I was so concerned about progress, how I’d look in the end, the setbacks with transitioning, fear of rejection, and so on and so forth. Now I’m being patient, and letting things move along, even if it will take longer than expected. I’m still nervous about how I look as a woman, which is why I’m still dressing as a guy. I’m not sure how long it will be before I get enough courage to start going part time. Some people transitioning do that right away, others like me need time before we’re ready.
Day 110 (Labor Day). From the summit of Mount Washington, 6,300 feet up. It’s the highest mountain in the northeastern US, and only three hours away from where I live. There was constant 70 mph winds and cloud cover that made it so you couldn’t see more than 50 feet. With my hair flying around like that, I’ll use this in my application to l’Oreal. By the way, your hair whips so fast in that kind of wind that it stings your skin.
Around 5,000 feet up the mountain, just below the clouds. It was too bad you couldn’t see the view from the top. The drive up is extremely scary on very narrow, gravel roads, with no guard rails to 2,000 foot drops.
Look who I found at the top!
As one final word, I’m considering switching from pills to injections. I’m going to talk to my doctor about it when I see her again in a few weeks. Injections are supposedly more effective since they go directly to your bloodstream, and are better for your liver. My issue with them is that I hate needles. We’ll see if I’m willing to that. For those of you out there with knowledge on the subject, do you recommend pills or injections?
I’ll most likely be doing updates more frequently now, probably once per month. The more noticeable and drastic changes should be starting soon. The first several months are just gradually changing your body’s hormone levels, so not much is changing until Estrogen starts to surpass Testosterone.
Hope everything is going well Sam! Your amazing both as a artist and story teller as well as a person with courage to go through what you do! Keep up the amazing work
If you want to have SRS surgery in the US or Canada you will need to live as a woman for 1 year and go to a psychotherapist and have a Dr. help you with the hormones you need for the change. Remember once you are taking hormones your skin will soften and electrolysis will get more painful if you wait too long. The hormones will mess with your mind and you will start thinking like a woman. this will be the time you need to talk to the therapist about your thoughts. I have been through all of that… Read more »
Here is a great e-book to help you. You can buy from Amazon for 2.99. It’s MALE/FEMALE by Kelly Odenkirk. I rate a 5 star “excellent”.published in December 2015.
The first thing you need to know is that your mind is the most important part. If you want to be a girl then you need see yourself as a woman. Mind is most important part of becoming a woman. Trust me, I’m a post open Transsexual now for 15 years. The best way is to yourself as a woman and dress that way. Start with watching what women wear and choose the way you would like best and don’t worry what others think of you. The decision is completely yours. If you want me to help you just e-mail… Read more »
Thank you Rebecca your very helpful!
I think you are doing well in the first stage of the transition. If it’s estrogen, soy products, particularly soy milk is high in estrogen. I read a story about how a man started to have his chest swell and increase in sensitivity and he couldn’t figure it out until the 4th or 5th doctor asked about his diet. Since he drank a glass a day it was tipping his scales and he had to cut it off in order to return to normal levels, but it took a long time to come back from it.
When is the next update?
Keep us posted please Sam. For looking and thus feeling more feminine, I think you might be surprised with what a little makeup (in private) could do. Start with your eyes, mostly some mascara – we expect dark eyelashes not blonde or your natural red – and color your lips to something you like. I’d start out with something close to natural lip color, but noticeable. Next thing to play with is probably foundation to hide those freckles. 😎 Here is a tip from when I first got interested in makeup. I saw a heavily made up model on an… Read more »
Here in the UK they tend to use patches now rather than pills. Only problem is that they have to be changed at pretty strict timings, and cleaning off the residue when you take one off!